I’m going to go ahead and say what everybody’s thinking. Hippies are annoying. Call them granolas, tree-huggers, or my personal choice, Gang Green (I warned you about the puns), a rose by any other name is just as bothersome. When I walk around and they hand me flyers about saving the trees, I laugh at the irony and throw it away, but always wish I could get that six seconds of my life back. I’ve got sarcastic blogs to write.

That’s not why they’re annoying though. And it’s not really for the reasons you think. Saving the earth is a good thing. I like this little marble we’re all riding on in this cosmic game of Chinese Checkers, so I don’t have any issues with keeping it up and running. I prefer it to be here as long as I am. Maybe even longer on the days I’m feeling generous.

But the earth is never (for emphasis, never) more important than the humans circling the sun on it. I can’t think of a purpose for it without us. Scientists will probably inform me that the earth helps keep the solar system in balance in some way. My response is “…So?” If the solar system collapses and no one’s around to hear it (or see it), who cares?

It’s this belief that the earth is somehow more important than me. That I was born into some Earth Conservation Society and my sole purpose as a human is to save the rainforest and the whales and the earth from overheating. That I’m a bad person because I don’t buy organic.

I don’t believe that. I think there’s something more important going on than whether I print on both sides of my computer paper before putting it in the recycling bin instead of the trash so someone else can print on both sides of it too.

I think there’s a reason trees don’t say “ouch” when you cut them down, but people do. I don’t think it’s as bad when water is bottled than it is when a person’s pain is.

So when you hand me that 100%-recycled-material flyer, you with the dreadlocks, Chacos, and a fondness for Frisbees (I’m sorry, discs), don’t take it personally when you see me drop it in the nearest trash can. I’m not taking it personally that you seem to care more about how the earth’s doing than how I’m doing.

Because there’s no use in saving the earth if everyone on it’s gone to hell.